As parents, it is our responsibility not just to protect our children but also to equip them with the skill of making wise decision. Many adults struggle later in life because they were never trained in this critical skill. Teaching children how to make thoughtful decisions early on can set the foundation for a life of confidence, responsibility, and clarity. Children must understand that decisions shape consequences, and every choice carries weight. A single poor decision can have ripple effects, while a thoughtful one can open doors and build trust and integrity.
As parents, we have a crucial role in guiding our children through the process of making decisions. Here’s a step-by-step approach you can teach your children:
1. Never Decide on Assumptions
One of the first lessons parents must teach is this: assumptions are dangerous. Children often jump to conclusions based on incomplete information, feelings, or guesses. This can lead to poor decisions and regret later on.
Teach your children that every decision must be backed by facts and clarity, not assumptions. To do this effectively, encourage them to gather all the relevant information before making any choice. They should ask themselves questions like:
- Have I gathered all the information I need?
- Is the information I have authentic and reliable?
- Am I making any assumptions? If so, what are they?
“confusion is the chief cause of worry.”
Half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision. For example “if I have a problem which has to be faced at three o’clock next Monday, I refuse to even try to make a decision about it until next Monday arrives. In the meantime, I concentrate on getting all the facts that bear on the problem. And by the time Monday rolls around, if I’ve got all the facts the problem usually solves itself!”
It’s also helpful to have them write down their thoughts if they feel overwhelmed. Putting their ideas on paper allows them to analyze their thinking clearly and see the gaps in their understanding. This simple habit of questioning assumptions can prevent many mistakes later in life.
2. Ask an Experienced Person
Here’s an important point: “experienced” does not necessarily mean older. It means someone who has faced similar challenges, has tried and failed, and has learned lessons along the way.
Teach your children to seek advice from such individuals, but remind them that the purpose is not to have someone make the decision for them. The goal is to gather guidance, learn from someone else’s experiences, and understand different perspectives.
Once they receive advice, encourage them to analyze it critically by asking:
- Is this person’s advice genuinely helpful and unbiased?
- What is the intention behind their guidance?
- Does this suggestion align with humanity and ethical principles?
This step is important because not everyone has good intentions, and some people may feel threatened or jealous of your child’s growth. Learning to evaluate advice helps your children stay independent while still benefiting from other’s experiences.
3. Analyze the facts.
This is the moment where we teach our children to play out possibilities before they act. After they’ve gathered facts (no assumptions) and, if needed, asked an experienced person for suggestions, help them explore outcomes by asking:
- If I do this, what could happen, right away and later?
- If I choose a different path, what might happen instead?
- Who could be helped or hurt by this choice?
- Does this choice keep humanity and kindness at the center?
If they feel overwhelmed, ask them to write it down. These kind of questions will make them think clearly.
There is a story about a man, Galen Litchfield. This story gives a clear understanding of how someone can analyze a situation and make a wise decision.
4. Now It’s Time to Make a Decision
When people lack knowledge, they lack confidence, and without confidence, they struggle to make decisions.
There always comes a moment when a decision has to be made. By this point, your child already has an idea of what feels right. What they need now is confidence to trust themselves and believe they can make the choice.
As a parent, you can guide them to think about these points before deciding:
- Right vs. Wrong – The choice should be based on what is right and fair, not just what feels easy.
- Context Matters – Every situation is different. Help your child think about the details of the situation instead of following rules blindly.
- Avoid Pressure – Good decisions should not be made when someone is forcing them. Encourage your child to pause, take a deep breath, and think calmly.
- Involve the Right People Only – Not everyone needs to give an opinion. Teach your child to listen only to those directly connected to the decision.
Remind your child that making a decision is not about picking the easiest path. It’s about taking responsibility, thinking about the results, and choosing what is right. Once they decide after careful thought, they should move forward with confidence and not keep doubting themselves.
Remember, as parents, our role is not to make decisions for them but to teach them how to think, analyze, and act wisely. The sooner they learn this, the more prepared they will be to face life’s uncertainties with courage and clarity.
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